DAWN

 

The baby cried- ‘Oh God, it’s so dark in here. I am scared’.

 

The mother patted her baby bump, smiled and whispered, ‘Shh… don’t worry, I am here.’

 

The baby replied, ‘But mom, in my previous life, the darkness was always uncomfortable and scary.’

 

‘That was because you died, and were buried in a tomb. But right now you are alive and in my womb.’

 

‘Mom, I am confused, it was dark there, it is dark here. I was alone there, and I am alone here. I was lost there, and I am lost here. How is it different then?’

 

‘Child, the darkness of the tomb was suffocative for you. It didn’t allow you to think or breathe. It was cold and icy. But the darkness of my womb if full of love and warmth, where you can breathe, have your thinking space and fly like a free bird.’

 

‘Baby, you were alone in the tomb because you were sad and despite having known numerous people in your ‘previous life’, you had nobody to stand beside you, nobody to lie down still next to. But here, you are not alone. You are a part of me. You are surrounded by people who love and care for you even without meeting you, who are eagerly waiting to hold you in their arms. Even though you don’t know anybody except me right now, your family is waiting for you to step out in the world with excitement over their faces and warmth in their arms.’

 

‘You felt lost there because despite knowing everything- the good and the bad, the right and the wrong, you couldn’t do anything. You had time to analyse your whole life, the way you behaved with people, the wrong you did to people and when you were wronged by people, the way you hurt your loved ones and how people hurt and used you, about whom you broke, and who broke you, who left you all alone in the darkness, and who held your hand when you least expected it. Son, your heart was scarred, your mind full of ‘what ifs’ and your soul wanted to relive the same movie but with a different climax. But here, you are not lost son. You have a whole new life which awaits you, where you would meet new people, make new friends, commit different mistakes, fall and learn to stand back again, where your heart would love, and your soul would guide you. Son, you have a whole new canvas to paint with whatever colours you want.’

 

‘Mom, but when I was in the tomb, many people came to see me with flowers and cards. They told me how much they missed me, how incomplete their life was without me. Sometimes they cried other times they couldn’t even say a word. And here in your womb too, people come to see me, bring gifts for me, tell me how I would be completing their lives just with my presence. I am confused mother, how is it different then?’

‘Son, those people came out of selfishness to you. Some because they knew they had broken you and wanted an easy way to repent, others because their life without you seemed incomplete and they longed to have you back. However, these people, they come with tenderness in their hearts. They come and talk to you, so when you come out in this world, you would recognise them. They love you unconditionally and want you to come and complete their lives.’

 

‘I am starting to understand little by little. When I was in the tomb, the darkness eluded me, it made me feel uncomfortable, depressive and sad. The emptiness filled my dead body and everything appeared gloomy to me. However mom, here inside you, the darkness has a different kind of positivity. It makes me smile and be curious about things. It makes me feel alive and happy.’

 

‘Son, even though you were surrounded by darkness in the tomb as well as in the womb, the aura and energy in completely different. One pulled you deeper in the soil, the other is going to give you wings to fly. One made you doubt yourself, other is going to give you the confidence to conquer the world. One meant you were dead forever, other you are still alive and breathing.’

 

‘Mommy, I no longer feel scared in here. The warmth that envelopes me makes me feel shielded from the cruelty of the world. Even though I want to come out and paint my very personal canvas with all the colours of the rainbow, I still don’t want to come out of my little protected happy world. I want to stay in here forever.’

 

‘I understand what you are trying to say. And believe me when I say, I felt the same confusion and conflict of thought when I was in my mother’s womb. But she asked me, where I liked it better and I made my choice. Now’s your chance to make the choice between the darkness of the womb and the darkness of the tomb.’

'Mother, but how is it a choice? Isn’t it very clear that the only choice I have right now is to accept the darkness of the womb?'

'It may seem very obvious to you. But you do have a choice here. Either you can choose to dwell in the past, ponder upon what could have been done differently and remain stuck in time or you can choose to accept the future that awaits you.'

'I want to accept the womb but I don’t know how to do so…somewhere with the daily developments I go through, I feel myself becoming more aware, but aware of just what’s around me. I can’t seem to see outside this bubble, though I can hear everything, right from the chirping of the birds, to the warm sound of dad.'

'Darling, you can only accept it, when you accept the past you had, without regrets. Just like your epitaph said, “I am rooted, but I flow.”, you need to accept your roots that is your past, and still at the same time move on with what the present holds for you. You need to let go, and at the same time hold on. I know right now, it may sound very confusing to you, but darling take the first step of self love and self acceptance and see yourself reach heights.'